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[离任作者] 【露之悲鸣】(15)

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初看不错 但是整篇看下来的话 感觉上有点 拖沓  细节描写过于多  有些情节  心理上 可能不用太多的墨水就能带过 楼主文笔不错 不过文章我个人看来是 有点罗嗦和拖沓了    精彩部分应该改更加着力描写  不过能写这么长的连载 楼主也辛苦了

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当前时区 GMT+8, 现在时间是 2024-9-13 04:41

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